Kate (pandarseal) wrote in adoption_choice,
Kate
pandarseal
adoption_choice

scared.

hello there.
i came across this community a few days ago and hope by all means it could help.

heres a little about myself;
my name is kate, i'm 19 and in my 36th week of pregnancy.
this is my story so far; i had hid from the fact that i was pregnant for what i believed was five months; until i eventually broke down and told my partner everything. he was more so concerned about me hiding it from him than actually being pregnant.
we had arranged to go to london to the marie stopes clinic for a private termination (as after a consultation with my doctor, he stated that it would be increadibly hard to find somewhere in scotland that would perform a termination at 5months). so we arrived and unfortunately when they took a scan it appeared that i was actually infact over the legal limit. therefore i was 6months and 2 weeks.
it felt like my whole world had fallen apart due to my own selfish stupidity when they told me that there was no where in the world that would terminate, and that i would have to go through with the pregnancy.

since then ive become increadibly accepting of what im going through; apart from what the experience of birth will be like and enevitably handing over my baby to someone else.
i break down so often when i think that my baby could be left on its own.

i'd love to hear the opinions of you ladies that have gone through the adoption process.. did you have partners? did you bond with your baby inmmediately after birth? how do they handle babies that are going for adoption?

im terrified i will end up being unable to let go.
and that would be the wrong choice; as i cant provide the best start in life as aposed to an already established family/parents/married couple could.

any advice would be so gratefully accepted.
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