Sam! (wtfyoubitch) wrote in adoption_choice,

I'm new.

Hi! I am really happy about finding this community. I'll do a quick intro for now, since it's 1:30 am. (AKA bedtime when you're prego!)

I'm Sam, I'm 20, and I'm about 20 weeks pregnant. I say about, because I have NO idea when my last period was, and after a long financial/getting covered with some kind of insurance struggle, I'm just now getting my first ultrasound. So my due dates range from December-February.
Tomorrow at 3 is my ultrasound, so I'll make sure and post when I know what's up for sure, finally!

The babies daddy and I were together for about 8 months, on and off, it's a long story. He already has 1 kid and another on the way with his first babies momma. So I knew from the beginning he didn't want me to keep it, but also said if I chose to he'd be there for it. Well, I was too far along to even consider abortion, and I do not want children, nor am I financially stable enough to have one of my own right now. And I don't believe in being a single mom, I want my children to have both parents present. So adoption is what I have decided on.

I've heard everyone talk about the connection that forms in the 9 months of having the baby inside of you, or the "when you see the baby after birth you'll want to keep it" which is all fine and dandy, but for me that is for wimps. I am no wimp. I have made up my mind on adoption, and that is what will happen.

I will NOT wallow in self-pity after I give birth. I will rejoice in the fact that my child is being well cared for, WAY better than anything I could have given the baby. I have already made the decision to have NO contact whatsoever with the child/adoptive parents. I don't even want to look at the baby after he/she is born. I know better. I do not want to see Chris's big, green eyes, or my dark hair. I don't want to know what the baby looks like, not only because it will start the connection that everyone talks about, but because I already know the baby will be beautiful.

I have not yet contacted an adoption agency. After finally getting set up with insurance (for now) and an OB, I haven't had time. So tomorrow after my ultrasound, that will be one of the first things I get started on.

Anywhoo, I hope that's enough info for now, I'm sleepy!
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